ALPHABET SOUP.

What I like and don't like in music...
I like an interesting melody, fresh lyrics, and some chords.
I don't like one chord all the way as I hear so often today,
or an endless repetition of an inane 2 or 4 bar phrase.
It's toddlers' music with drums and bass.
Much current pop music is bland, repetitious stuff,
delivered with fake enthusiasm.
Like commercials.

I still enjoy singing "with no pants on"
after every line of every song.
"Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa, with no pants on."

I wish restaurant food looked like the pictures on the menu.
A hostess asked me how everything was.
I said, "My compliments to the photographer."

I'd like to get a tattoo of a banjo on my knee.

TRUE STORY FROM THE MANCHESTER TIMES.
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder
to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control, and nearly hit a bus.
The driver said, "Sorry. This is my first day driving a cab.
I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
(From Walt Johnson.)

When I was a teen, my girlfriend's phone number was 297J.
That's it. Three numbers and a letter.
It was a small town. A lot like Mayberry, only evil.

Outside Englands Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses.
For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant.
Then, after 25 years of never missing a day, he didn't show up,
so the zoo called the city council and asked

it to send them another parking agent.

The council replied that the parking lot was the zoo's responsibility.
The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.
The city said that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.
Sitting in his villa on the coast of Spain
is a man who had a ticket booth installed on his own
and then had simply begun to show up every day,
collecting and keeping the parking fees.
At about $560 per day for 25 years this amounts to

around $7 million dollars,
and nobody even knows his name.
(Again from Walt Johnson.)

If I were a cop I'd arrest a clown and say,

"Don't make any funny moves."

I'd like to be a cop and yell, "SCUM, FREEZEBAG!"

I saw a sign that said "THINK."

I wrote under it "OR THWIM."

I'm still thinking about the sexy girls in my high school.
Now'days those girls are thinking about Bingo.

"Santa Claus is coming to town, with no pants on."

"There ain't no sanity clause."
Chico Marx.

The next person to say "mind boggling"

to me will get their nose beeped.

When Misty was six years old
she sang "Cabin in the Sky" on a radio talent program.
That's a tough song to sing even for an adult.
The winner was a kid that tap danced. On the RADIO!
The announcer, Colin Male, later became her brother-in-law,
and he was the announcer on The Andy Griffith Show.

Alphabet soup makes no sense to me.
I'm dyslexic.

Well, pretty soon I'm going to sit back,

relax, smoke a squirrel, and go to bed.